by John Wrench with apologies to Gilbert and Sullivan (Mikado – Tit Willow)

On a branch of Antarctic beech
on the plateau
hides Cyttaria Cyttar-ia gunii.
Tony said if you’re able
You really must go
To find orange Cyttaria gunii
’twas a matter of pressing on
mile after mile
‘till the ache in your legs
means you can’t even smile.
When our monkey-man finds it
by climbing with guile
Cyttaria, Cyttar- ia gunii.